Time for a rant …

Alright, Ive been holding this in too long . I need to let it out & here’s where I can . It all starts back in 6th grade . My best friend , the neighbor , same age , same school , bestfriends , inseparable , blahblahblah . Let’s call this one “A”. Fast foward to 8th grade ; met another girl , who also became my best friend . Let’s call her “C” . 2 best friends . I introduced them . I remember the first night they met , we hung out @ my A’s house . This was in like the beginning of 8th grade , we all hung out some more . Yeah . Then in summer, I remember they hung out . Then I was gonna hang out with C , so I texted her & asked her , she texted me back , said “Someone’s jealous…” WRONG TEXT DUMBASSS. That was supposed to go to A . Then at the beginning of freshman year , we were at a football game , C had just become annoying , she punched me in my stomach , she got a freaking senior to text me all this shit because I was mad @ her for just being a flatout bitch . We never fixed anything , but we decided to be civil , but never would I want to be best friends with her again . So then came the beginning of sophomore year . C became a party whore , getting drunk all the time . Then A became a drinker/weedsmoker with her 21 year old cousin . I guess they just kinda came together . They’ll post shit on facebook like “late night talks with my bestfriend” or comment on each other’s pictures , “my bestfriend’s hot<3” . So here’s both of there statuses that they just updated; A: Outt with my girls. Gettin fucked up later<33 & C: ___s w/ A & allie, party & bullshit later<3. Like really , do you think you’re cool making that your facebook status ? Listen here bitches, I wish I never introduced you two . Both of you have changed so much , you’ve become two little sneaky ass whores . A , I dont even know who you are anymore , you used to be my number one best friend , an innocent one too . Now you’re some monster that goes out & parties all the time . C , I literally hate you . You’re the dumbest bitch alive . One time A & me planned to go out to dinner , but your skank ass had to come along. Guess what . You came there drunk . You had beers after school with some 20 year old guy . Your dad knew too , he punished you . But now he’s just giving you an opportunity to get “fucked up” right ? Are you really that disrepectful of your parents & yourself? Why can’t people learn that you don’t have to get drunk or high to be happpy . It doesn’t fix anything you’re going through . It fucks things up , and makes good friends like me develop an unwanted hatred towards you . I wish none of this ever happened , I wish A never changed , I wish I could say this to you . But I’m too nice to be this brutally honest to your face , so i have to come on tumblr & say all of this . Do you realize what you’re doing ? You’re pushing me away & soon I’m just not gonna be here . I feel like I have no one anymore . I don’t fucking want to be friends with drinkers , I don’t want them to carry me down that path , I’m an honor roll student & if I were to do what they’re doing , party all the time , and just not care about anything , I wouldn’t be . To all you drinkers that are my peers/friends , I hope you get caught . By your parents , so they can punish you . By the police , so they can teach you a lesson about under-aged drinking . Why does high school have to change people ? Why do people have to grow up in such negative ways ? It sucks . So much . I had another best friend , B . We started talking in like September . He was there for me all the time , he called me beautiful all the time . He liked my other best friend , S . But guess what ? Drinking fucked him up . First of all , he insisted on being friends with my mom on faceboook . He posted drunk statuses , my mom didn’t want me being friends with him . Once he found out I got in trouble, he was like “I’m so sorrry, I won’t drink again I promise . I don’t even deserve to be friends with you . You’re amazing, I drink too much” blahhhh. So I told him “it’s fine , really .” He promised to never drink again . Guess what . He did . And he lied about it , he didn’t tell me , he didn’t apologize. But finally he admitted it . And I had told myself & my mom I wouldnt talk to him if he got drunk again , so I stuck to that & I still do stick to it . After we ended the friendship , I was out , he fought my friend’s boyfriend to “show her what she deserves . she doesnt deserve to have a boyfriend” Worst part ? I told my mom THAT is the reason im not friends with him anymore. she doesnt even know about the drinking . I’m sorry mom. at least i kept my promise to you to not be friends with him if he was drinking . But it’s times like these where I wish I wasnt so stubborn to drop him like that . I could reallly use someone to talk to about all this stuff I’m feeling about A becoming a completely different person . I miss him soooooo much , I wish things hadnt changed . Everything always gets messed up I swear . /: I just wanna cry my eyes out . I shouldn’t be constantly thinking about how I’m hurt because of the crappy quality friends I have. It reallly shouldn’t be like this . I basically have no one, I’m tired of acting like I’m so strong , like nothing’s wrong. When really , everything is wrong . My top friends ? One constantly drinks which I hate , as you might tell ^ . One , we laugh all the time , we’re so funny , but she’s so self centered sometimes, and also can be annoying . One , is really annoying . She talks to & flirts with 3 different guys , while she has a boyfriend. She’s also just ignorant . Only a select few havent done anything to upset me though . One is really smart , she helps with anything , she knows everything , she’s a strong Christian , everyone loves her , she’s just awesome. And another is this guy that I kinda like , he goes to my church, he’s so nice, he’s funny, he’s cute. Just all around great . But he only texts me sometimes. I wish i could talk to him all the time , he makes me happy . But if I start the conversation all the time , I’ll feel like I’d be annoying him . Well, basically this is what I’m going through , I just needed to let all that out . All of this has been just constantly swirling through my mind. I don’t know what to do anymore . Sorry everyone for probably taking up your whole screen with all of this writing . But I really hope things get better , I feel like Im slowly falling apart . /: Alright I’m done.

January 19

6944.) I’m sorry. You’re one of my best friends. He said some of the rudest things about you without even knowing you, and I only went along with it because I liked him so much. I’m so sorry, girl. I can see now that he’s a jerk, and I need you more than him.

(Source: blogconfession)

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faithfulfootsteps:

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